The "parent" holidays can be rough for us. This year, I decided to own Father's Day (instead of being a crying mess) and spend the weekend doing things Jonathan would like to do.
One of our favorite activities is driving around neighborhoods looking at homes. We try to visit model homes, but that's a purely Saturday activity since they close by the time I'm done at work. We got tickets for the Utah Valley Parade of homes and spent the day going from house to house seeing what we liked and a lot of what we didn't like. (It was mostly awkward floor plans that we couldn't stand.)
|I love the grey and the ceiling.|
|I don't think laundry would be as terrible in this room!|
|I am now sold on smart thermostats.|
|A free standing soaking tub is in my future!|
|This is a fantastic idea for a door stop!|
|I also see a large creative space for me in the future.|
Even though we had a great Saturday, Sunday morning was still tough. These holidays bring up a lot of emotions and inadequacies. I was about to indulge in these thoughts, but then I thought about Jonathan and the father he already is. It's not his fault that both of our pregnancies didn't make it full term (and it's not my fault either) and so there's really no reason for him not to be included on Father's Day. Instead of barely making it through the day, I decided to share the father that I see when I look at Jonathan.
Jonathan's choices have had our family in mind long before her met me while there are men in the world that technically are fathers, but choose not to be fathers. Every so often I see a quote saying "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart." For us it's "If you think my hands are empty, you should see how full my heart is." We make all of our decisions with our children in mind. We truly, deeply love each one of them. I love J and E and I love the rest of our children, no matter how long they are going to stay with us. It doesn't matter. What matters is they are each an essential part of our family. Our family would not be complete without them just as it wouldn't be complete without me or Jonathan.
Jonathan is the father of our family. That's why I married him. I saw that he was already taking on that role and I liked the way he was fulfilling it. I wouldn't have anyone else be the father of my children.